"I'm every woman..it's all in me" (week 14/15ish)

Which topic should I pick first... white wife vs. black wife... or inappropriate responses...both so juicy… ahh decisions, decisions… never mind let’s just go for it…
-say someone tells you that they are getting a new car… it is inappropriate to respond – my cousin purchased that same new car and got in a car accident that left him paralyzed

-say someone tells you that they are going to Japan for a mission trip... it is inappropriate to respond – whew my church went to that same part of Asia last year and not one person got saved the whole time

-say someone tells you that they just got engaged to a man named Charles... it is inappropriate to respond – Charles you know most men named Charles are either sex offenders or repeated cheaters

In the same manner it is inappropriate to respond to a mother to be who is simply, honestly answering the question that you asked by saying things like – oh really... I don’t know about that; what! You do know people can die giving birth; ooo are you sure about that because it is going to be very, very painful; wow such-n-such baby almost died right after it was born; what in the world made you want to do something crazy like that; etc.

Before you start holding your chest saying “OMG she is talking about me” let me just help you out. I am not talking about any specific person. Unfortunately, this is the response that I have received over and over again when people ask me the following… “Oh, what doctor are you using?” and I respond “we are using a midwife”…then they always follow-up with, “oh ok, what hospital are you going to deliver the baby at?” And then I respond – “none, we are having a home delivery.” Next is complete SILENCE, strange looks, and squinted eyes followed by the above inappropriate responses. (One person even asked me “is your husband black?”.)
I never knew that the personal decision that my husband and I made would cause such a ruckus. Why is having a home delivery or using a midwife so foreign here in the states? The rest of the world has not abandoned this idea, actually it is quite the norm. Remember that having a child is a natural part of a female’s life. Our bodies were built specifically for this process and has been preparing for it monthly since you were in middle school. Delivery is not an automatic traumatic, emergency in need of serious medical attention. Furthermore, most of the world’s great minds including Shakespeare, Sojourner Truth, or our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ were not born in hospitals or by doctors.

Hospitals did not spring up in North America until 1691. Wiki says “The best-known type of hospital is the general hospital, which is set up to deal with many kinds of disease and injury, and typically has an emergency department to deal with immediate threats to health. A general hospital is typically the major health care facility in its region, with large numbers of beds for intensive care and long-term care” (Now does that make you feel happy, safe, and clean place to bring precious, new life into the earth. I won’t even begin to speak about all the mistakes made in hospitals or the germs that travel on doctors scrubs from room to room or the Ob/Gyn profession that is even younger than hospitals because for some people this is the necessary and perfect fit.) So Justin and I are going to give birth to our first beloved child Baby Best (no sex, no name yet) in the comfort in our own home. Yes, we have decided not to be hooked to machines, doped up, placed in metal stirrups, or rushed while delivering new life into this world. It actually was a very natural decision. About a week after I knew I was pregnant I began to research delivery options. All the years of TLC’s Baby Story had sparked my curiosity. I wanted to be somewhere calm, intimate, warm, full of love, and that would support my desire to have a natural birth… my research led me right to the place I was researching from – My Home!

Now I am just like some of you, I eat pork, perm my hair, love Country music, bank online, and love most other life-easing technology – so such an un-modern, un-contemporary, well really un-American idea, challenged me too. But somehow it just felt so right. So exactly Charity. So organically perfect for me! The more I searched the clearer it became (Sigh with a smile!) Yep it is official, I am using a midwife and having a home delivery. We are working with an amazing midwife. Just in case you care she is African American – that was a non-negotiable for me. She is very experienced and so right for me – I mean how many ob/gyns will text you to see if your diarrhea went away or check in to see how your healthy recipes turned out! So now that the cat is out of the bag let me prompt you with some appropriate responses for you to say to this personal disclosure… “Best wishes”, “You can do it”, “I am proud of your for fearlessly trusting your natural instincts”… my response to you would be, “thanks for your support, pray for a quick, smooth, perfect health delivery.”

(Continue to educate yourself! Check out this newspaper article about our midwife at this link http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/sarahn_agyriwah_henderson_midwife/Content?oid=974328
To learn more about natural birthing options I suggest you watch the great documentary - The Business of Being Born. It is available for instant watch on Netflix.)