Aw push it, pu push it real good

salt and pepper definitely was not talking about a "push gift" when they made this song… actually I had never heard of a “push gift” until my mother-in-law presented me with one this summer… she explained that a “push gift” was a gift, usually given by the husband, to encourage and motivate his wife during labor to continue to push when labor got tough… apparently she read about it in one of the upper echelon love story novels that she enjoys reading or listening to on audio…

nevertheless I thought, ummmm nice idea huh… a special gift from my honey to me while my vagina is stretched to the size of a cantaloupe… how sweet huh!!!  For the last several months I have been dreaming of my wonderful “push gift” to come… I mean my hubby is so sweet, it just had to be super romantic, best gift ever… perhaps it would be a new diamond right-hand ring or a engraved bangle…  ooo even better maybe the invoice for an all-expenses paid vacation to some exotic location… hmmmm, sigh, oh the possibilities 

well readers, my well prepared husband did not want to wait to the last minute to purchase this very special gift… so over the holidays he went behind my back and purchased my surprise “push gift”… but unfortunately a few days after that I was doing my weekly bank account check up and discovered an unusual purchase, with a noticeable price tag… giggle giggle giggle…  oh boy oh boy, I thought to myself until I read the purchase description – not Jared’s or Tiffany’s, but Jay-Z…  that’s right Jay-Z concert tickets…  huh… what???   My husband excitedly explained how, he just knew this would be the perfect push gift for me, and how he had it all figured out…  his master plan was as follows I pump three bottles and then my mom watches our newborn baby for the four hours we are at the concert… a concert  that is scheduled for three days after my due date… 3 DAYS… THREE DAYS – what, lol… now way lol –

now to his defense I love Jay Z and would have a blast holding up my rockefella triangle and screaming to the top of my lungs – hova hova..  but can you imagine me at the hip hop concert having to pump n the bathroom during intermission, super thick maternity pad on, surrounded by thousands of sexy chicks that can walk faster in their stilettos than I can in my post-natal girdle… 3 days after i give birth!!! sigh simply priceless… gotta love my hubby – thanks babe for being willing to listen to me scream over another man for two hours – great gift idea, just bad timing… J I love you boo... i loved the make up date we went on this sunday to a more appropriate  concert by the atl symphony - the baby and i enjoyed listening to the classic tunes with you by our side... so sweet, so new black, high class...  i only nodded a few times and that was due to my pregnant body's uncontrollable need to sleep, anytime anyplace - lol