Dec 14, 2009

you're a mean one..



mr. grinch!  i like ths funny holiday song... i don't like that i recently had a day reflective of the song... full of grime thoughts... this is not my typical M.O... the other night as i returned the car that i borrowed from my sister, my eyes whelmed up, tears was my reaction to the reality that my life is really changing... now let me just say that tears seems to be a reaction to positive and challenging things alike these days... but this time i think it was really valid... i have not been "unemployed" since i was 15yrs old... i have had my own car since i was 17yrs... and now, by choice, i find myself temporarily without both... now i am forced completely to lean on my husband... and of course GOD as always... but my husband to a new level... he is an excellent supporter and provider but for the last two years i felt like a substantial contributor... like a team mate who plays second string but nevertheless i still had a mean hit and was often used in the game...  i mean for the last 10+ years i have been a  Charlie's angel with a theme song sung by Beyonce... but now i really am a for-real for-real WIFE and he has is THE MAN of the house.. OMG i want to rebel against this thought somehow... maybe go out on my balcony and burn my bra... but as i look down at my bear feet and hugely pregnant belly i realize it's too cold for this foolish display...  but this is just it... shazam now i don't have a research project, or long day at the office to hide behind when dishes are left in the sink or dinner is leftovers... i have tired to put on my mrs. clever hat but after one load of darks and purging one bag of crap in the office my tailbone hurts and my body takes me hostage for a knap... wow, change is challenging


this is why you should just go with the flow.... be like the lion king's wart-hog and sing "hukuna matata"... what good are our covey planners, when the most high is really in control of all things...  so what that i had planned to top last years holiday travels to the slopes of Toronto by relaxing in a beach cabana with dear friends in the bahamas... this year i will be doing something much better - i will be practicing on my birthing ball and celebrating baby best at my first shower... eat your heart out single ladies - hahahahaha

now i know what my sweet hubby will say " you are doing more than enough by carrying and caring for   human life 24/7"... and i politely smile and relax as he kisses my forehead but my mind screams BAAA humm baaaag... yeah yeah yeah... i finally arrived to the dream life of a christian women... the ability to stay home and care for my body/baby while allowing my husband to lead to the fullest... people dream and pray for this luxery.. and i admit it was my prayer as well... to be the sole caregiver for my child and home... well one of the two is not even completely here yet and i am already having second thoughts...
but i am no fool ladies... please believe i pull myself together quickly, before my bacon winner pulls in the garage i  steam away the green grup in the shower and pull out my inner eartha kitt -lol- ummmm yep i still got it, just not as often lol

1 Leave a Comment! on "you're a mean one.."

Justin's Adoration of TEKA PHOTOGRAPHY on January 7, 2010 at 10:55 AM said...

Beautiful photography by Tabia Parker of Teka Photography, taken in Teka studios.

http://www.tekaphotography.com/

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